We live in a world where labels are placed on us constantly. Whether it’s a mental health diagnosis like depression or anxiety, or harsh words like “lazy,” “unworthy,” or “too sensitive,” it can feel like these definitions start to become who we are. But what if I told you that your diagnosis or the negative things people say about you are not your identity? Let’s dive into the truth behind labels and discover who you really are beyond them.

Understanding Labels and Diagnoses

Let’s get one thing straight—mental health diagnoses, like depression, anxiety, or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), can be incredibly helpful for identifying and addressing specific struggles. They provide clarity, validation, and offer a pathway toward treatment. However, they are not meant to become permanent fixtures of your identity, nor are they excuses for not striving to grow or change.

Take Borderline Personality Disorder, for example. It’s a condition that can deeply affect emotions, relationships, and behavior. But it’s troubling when people accept a diagnosis like BPD and use it as an excuse for harmful behavior, treating it as if it’s something as unchangeable as hair color. Comments like, “I can’t help it, I have BPD,” often reveal a mindset of resignation, as though their diagnosis defines them completely and excuses all actions. But the truth is, while a diagnosis can explain certain patterns, it doesn’t excuse the need to work toward better thoughts, behaviors, and self-regulation.

Just as hair color doesn’t define your personality, neither does a diagnosis. In fact, many individuals with BPD or other mental health conditions work hard to change their thoughts and behaviors for the better. Therapy, self-awareness, and dedicated effort allow them to build healthier relationships, manage emotions, and improve their lives. A diagnosis is not an identity—it’s simply a starting point for the journey toward healing.

Why We Internalize Negative Labels

It’s human nature to internalize labels, especially when we hear them over and over. Whether it's a diagnosis from a doctor or a judgmental comment from a family member, these labels begin to feel true, even when they aren’t the whole truth.

For instance, if you’ve been told throughout your life that you’re “too sensitive” or “not enough,” you might start to believe those things are fundamentally who you are. Similarly, hearing yourself described as “anxious” or “depressed” over and over can make you feel like these struggles define you. But these labels are just narrow snapshots of your current experience. They don’t encompass the full range of your personality, values, strengths, or potential.

Reframing Your Identity

So, if your diagnosis or the negative things people say about you aren’t your identity, what is? Your identity is much bigger, more complex, and more resilient than any single label. You are a combination of your values, your passions, your strengths, and your lived experiences. You are not a diagnosis; you are someone living through an experience, and experiences can change.

Instead of focusing on your diagnosis, try shifting your focus to your strengths and values. What are the things you care deeply about? What are you good at? These are the qualities that reflect the real you—not just the temporary challenges you may be facing.

For example, if you’ve been struggling with anxiety, you might reframe that experience to reflect the positive attributes you’ve developed, like resilience, empathy, or a deep sense of care for others. You might say, “I am working through anxiety, but I am also resilient, thoughtful, and strong.”

Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs

It’s easy to get stuck in limiting beliefs about yourself, especially when they’re reinforced by others. But remember: other people’s opinions don’t have to define you. Whether it’s a mental health diagnosis or something negative someone said about you, these things are not permanent markers of your identity. They are simply stories others have told you, or stories your mind has repeated to you, often in moments of struggle.

One powerful exercise to try is to rewrite your story. Take a piece of paper and jot down all the labels—whether from a diagnosis or from negative comments—that have been placed on you. Now, write a new narrative that reflects the real you. Instead of saying, “I am anxious,” write something like, “I experience anxiety, but I am also a compassionate and creative person.”

Steps Toward Reclaiming Your True Identity

Here are a few steps you can take to start moving away from identifying solely with your diagnosis or negative labels:

Awareness: Start noticing when you identify with your diagnosis or accept a negative label. Awareness is the first step toward change.
Reframe: Each time you catch yourself saying “I am [negative label]” or “I am [diagnosis],” try to reframe it as “I am experiencing [condition]” or “I have been labeled [negative term], but I am also [strength].”
Explore Your Values: Spend time exploring your core values. What matters most to you in life? These values are key to your true identity.
Challenge the Labels: When someone tries to define you with a label, challenge it. Ask yourself, “Is this really who I am, or is this just one part of my experience?”
Surround Yourself with Support: Engage with people who see you for who you truly are—beyond any labels or diagnoses. Find a community that encourages your growth and helps you feel seen and valued.

Reclaim Your True Identity—You Are So Much More Than a Label

At the end of the day, a diagnosis can help guide treatment, but it should never be the totality of your identity. You are not your anxiety. You are not your depression. You are a multi-dimensional person with unique strengths, values, and potential. It's time to reclaim your true identity—one that goes beyond any label—and start living as the person you were always meant to be.

If you're struggling with feeling defined by a diagnosis or negative labels and want help rediscovering your true self, reach out to Alchemy Practice. We're here to help you explore who you really are beyond the labels, and guide you in creating a life aligned with your values and strengths. Call or email our office today to schedule a session, and let’s begin the journey toward finding your true identity.

You Are NOT Your Diagnosis: The Hidden Truth About Who You Really Are